Slate care and feeding full#
Slate care and feeding free#

Your husband has a responsibility to “guide” his son into adulthood (that is literally his job as a parent), and there is something really uncomfortable about you suggesting that he’s doing too much simply because he’s the primary parent.

Your husband and his ex have a responsibility to choose a schedule based on the best needs of their child, not you.

But it can be an incredibly difficult schedule for all parties and is not one that should be entered into just because a stepmom wishes for less time with a kid she never wanted around in the first place.

Slate care and feeding free#

How many free weekends might you have had if their mother had died when they were young? Do you know how parenting works?Ī 50/50 custody arrangement might be “fair,” if we are talking about the division of time and labor devoted to keeping a child alive. “I always felt that rarely having a weekend free was unjust” is quite a statement for someone who married a man with a 4-year-old child and an older sibling. Was his aura negative when he was 4? Did he have a bad vibe when you met him, or has he grown unpleasant over time? How on earth does he regard you? You’ve been in his life a very long time, yet you describe him as if he’s a neighbor’s naughty child, not a family member and certainly nothing resembling a child you’ve cared for. Sure, it might have something to do with what an unpleasant kid he has come to be, though I am inclined to question your assessment, as I do not know that you have the compassion for this child to see him through clear eyes. Thirteen years later, the resentment you felt for him from Day One has bubbled up. It sounds to me like you married a man with a very young child yet somehow believed you’d be off the hook for caring for that child. Am I being unreasonable? How do I tell my husband, in a nice way, “I cannot stand your teen son anymore!?! I want him out! I’ll even help pay for him to leave!” Help. I’m also extremely afraid that his dad will want and let him continue living with us after he turns of age. He’s pessimistic his aura/vibe is very negative and he’s selfish, lazy, and ungrateful. We agreed that he’d do 7-to-10 days a month with his mother, but most of the time he only stays there a week before begging his dad to come home.

My husband will not bend because according to him, he wants “to help guide him to adulthood.” I am pushing for 50/50 (e.g., two weeks with mom two weeks with us). My husband and I are in couples therapy, and we tried coming to an agreement regarding him visiting his mother. He has a phone addiction and ignores the handful of chores we give him. I am having a really hard time with this due to the fact that I believe he should spend equal time with his mother, especially since he now has a job and a car.

Slate care and feeding full#

I tried to modify it to no avail, so I gave up resentfully.įast forward to March 2019, and my husband decided without consulting me that my stepson would live with us almost full time. It was very hard for me since I don’t have kids of my own, and I always felt that rarely having a weekend free was unjust. We’ve had him and his older sis (who chose to stop living with us two years ago) every single weekend for the past 12 years. My husband has joint custody, but the parenting time is scheduled based on my husband’s work. I’m a stepmom to a 17-year-old boy I married his father when the kid was 4. like she does not get how parenting works. There is a letter from a step-mother regarding her step son and she sounds terrible.